Every person has a name. That name carries a kind of identity for him. From the state to the institutional, any organization or organization knows him by the name of that dress. Nicknames are also common in this region apart from dress names. That name may be known by close family members, called by parents. But above all, if you continue to be known as a relative of one of your brothers and sisters or someone else in the family, then?
That is not at all unusual. When we are quite young, we are known as someone’s son or daughter. Even if we are a little older or adults, we remain familiar as someone’s brother, someone’s sister or someone’s son or daughter. But as we age, so does the urge to create our own identity. Gradually an adult person becomes an individual and a personal identity of that person is also formed. It does not have to be only career oriented. But in the reality of this country, that is what happens most of the time. But then you don’t want to be known as someone else’s ‘something’. Instead, you will want to establish your own identity.
It is actually the result of individualism and existentialism. Everyone wants to be known for their unique identity. And existentialism repeatedly says to establish one’s existence on the earth, to make it a huge banyan tree with water and air. But what if you see in this place, despite being suitable, you are being introduced to your partner’s identity only because of your sexual identity? But that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with knowing your partner. But if that identity tries to erase your individuality, that’s the problem.
One such incident happened recently in this country. Biman Bangladesh Airlines is the national airline company of our country. A few days ago, it was learned that a Biman flight returned to Hazrat Shahjalal International Airport in the capital after flying for 2 hours due to a crack in the windshield after leaving for Saudi Arabia. The pilot noticed a crack in the windshield while the plane was mid-air. The flight was crossing Indian airspace at that time. In this situation, the captain decided to return to Dhaka without taking any risk. Citing Biman officials, the media also said that there were 285 passengers and 12 crew members on that flight. After taking off from Dhaka, the flight captain noticed a crack in the cockpit glass and contacted air traffic control and returned to Dhaka from Indian airspace.
So far it’s been pretty normal news. Such emergency landings of aircraft happen often, it is not an unusual occurrence. The name and identity of the captain of that aircraft was also known, the captain of the flight was Tanya Reza. But then some went to take news of his house and family. And at one stage it was known that she is the ‘Sudden Rain’ of our film world, i.e. the half-brother of hero Ferdous. And after that Captain Tanya Reza revealed his professional and personal identity to a large part of the media of our country. She became only the wife of Ferdous. It was being headlined in such a way that it would seem that it was Ferdous’s wife, not the captain, who saw the crack in the plane’s windshield and the idea of landing the plane safely came to his mind because of that!
Although such a thought is absurd, it is very common in the society of Bangladesh. Our society has long been heavily patriarchal. This society naturally wants to place any achievement on the shoulders of men. This society never has to think twice to deprive women. And if-or to give credit to women, many if-but-buts want to be associated with her. That’s why most of the working women of this country have to manage the work place as well as the home. Housework is an extra and taboo activity where men are considered mere cash machines. And housework is assumed to be the main work of women, and even women who earn money and invest in the family are not thought to be spared from it. Because our society thinks that if a child goes astray, only the mother is responsible. And if the child is on the right path, his credit goes to the whole family including the father. Mother is present, but in a corner. This is why in Dhallywood movies we hear father’s aggrieved dialogue to mother – sentences starting with ‘Your son…’ or ‘Your daughter…’. And for good things one hears, ‘Baap ka beta, sepai ka ghora…’ etc. etc.
Captain Tanya Reza may be known as the wife of Nayak and current Member of Parliament Ferdous in these views. His institutional and personal skills and identity went unnoticed there. If it was just a post spread through social media, the society could have turned a blind eye by putting the blame on its shoulders. But when the media, which is known as the fourth pillar of the state, keeps blowing its wings, it actually feels a little helpless. The job of the media is to highlight the inconsistencies, to guide the nation to move forward in the right direction. Instead of doing that, when media outlets consider their sole aim to be in the rat race of getting clicks and social interactions and try to highlight who is the wife of a woman as the main identity of a woman in the headlines only because of high SEO volume – then it remains to be understood. It is not that, today, the shift has been able to spread its influence strongly in all areas of the country. There is nothing more to say about social responsibility here. There is only ‘my news is eaten by the public’ type of makey glory.
You can say how much is happening, what damage has been done! In fact, this damage is more of the ‘silent killer’ genre. Maybe by reading or seeing this kind of news, a man in this country will return home and say to his working wife one day – ‘As long as you work, everyone knows you, so give it to me!’ His time? If it continues like this, our mothers-sisters-loved ones may lose their name-identity. And who does not know, this materialistic world is only a mire of identity.
Rather, let’s rely on the words of national poet Kazi Nazrul Islam. Let’s face it, men are not the only makers of everything. Women also contributed a lot. The easier it is for the society of this country to accept it, the better. Otherwise, but once in this country, no ants can be found without men!
Author: Sub-Editor, Digital Department, Independent Television